The Weekly Adoption Shout Out 24/05/13

The Weekly Adoption Shout Out arrives again following a very busy week for Vicki and Sarah on the #WASO team. I’ll let you all into a little secret, actually not much of a secret anymore, we are developing a new website called The Adoption Social launching on Friday June 14th. It will be the new home of The Weekly Adoption Shout Out but it will also have so much more to offer, to read the Press Release we sent out yesterday click here. You can always keep up to date with what is going on via our Facebook page.

So exciting times for The Weekly Adoption Shout but for now we are looking forward to reading your posts from the week. Some of you may have taken up our theme of Treasured Moments, but if you haven’t that’s fine please link up your posts as well. The theme is always optional. Again we try our hardest to share your posts on twitter and on Facebook but you can share yours and other peoples as well with the #WASO

Those of you posting blogs will no doubt agree it is always good to get feedback and comments on your posts so if you can remember to comment of some of the other blogs that would be great.

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Press Release – A New Website – The Adoption Social

This has been keeping myself and Vicki form The Boys Behaviour very busy in recent weeks and this is the press release that we sent out to over 200 organisations today and yesterday.


COMING SOON – The Adoption Social!

 A new blog to encourage and support those involved in adoption will launch on 14 June.

Developed by two adoptive parent bloggers, The Adoption Social ( is a new site to support and encourage the use of social media as a tool for prospective adoptive parents, adoptive parents, adopted people and professionals involved too.

As well as becoming the home for the already successful ‘The Weekly Adoption Shout Out’ (or #WASO as it’s known on Twitter), The Adoption Social will feature:

Memory Box – A weekly blog link-up to celebrate great moments. This could be good parenting achievements, fab things your children do, good memories and could be text, poetry or even photos. The aim is to share positivity and achievement.

Blogless Blogging – This section provides a space for anonymous posts from bloggers who don’t feel able to post on their own sites, one-off guest posts or those wishing to try their hand at blogging.

Me & My Blog/My Twitter Life – Regular posts from others already using social media; sharing tips, advice and experience.

Adoption Social Connections – Tips on how to get started on Twitter, set up a blog, use other social media resources and also includes lists of useful contacts already on Twitter, Facebook and a blog roll.

A Problem Shared – A spot where people can anonymously or not put forward a particular problem or issue, and others can comment or share experiences and advice.

In time we also hope to launch twitter parties, include reviews of books, programmes and films, and hold a diary of events that might be of interest.

Vicki, who writes The Boy’s Behaviour and is co-founder of The Adoption Social says “As an adoptive parent myself, I’ve found blogging has helped me find others in the same position as our family. There have been times when we’ve had to pretty much lock down and work on healing and repairing our family, but that’s isolating, and so Twitter and Blogging have been my lifelines to the outside world. We’re not experts, but we know what’s helped us. ”

“For me The Adoption Social is about providing support for those living within adoption, through creating social media connections. I’ve found that support myself and I want to share it with others who maybe feel sometimes that they are very much alone. We aim to reach out to these people and by sharing experiences and understanding we hope to create a social media community that can truly help.“ Added Sarah, from The Puffin Diaries, the other founder of The Adoption Social.

It is hoped that adoption agencies, social workers, training providers and advocacy and support organisations  will help promote The Adoption Social to their adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents as a place they can access friendly support. More and more agencies are signing up to Twitter and Facebook and clearly are appreciating the types of connections they can build through such tools, The Adoption Social hopes to build on and develop those connections.


Wild Garlic

wildGarlicA couple of weeks ago the boy Stig and I went foraging for food. Down the lane and onto a woodland path and we found the delicacy we were searching for, in fact we inhaled it’s sweet and pungent aroma before we set eyes on it. Since we’ve lived in this lovely spot I’ve been aware that Wild Garlic grows here, I’ve enjoyed the scent on many a walk but I’ve never before collected it and then cooked with it. Spurred on by an article in my favourite magazine The Simple Things, not seen or read it?find it, it’s wonderful,all about this abundant wild ingredient we decide this year would be different.

027Basket, secateurs and the joy of an adventure in hand off we set. Stig is always very enthusiastic about these type of adventures, ones where it’s just him and I and he’s doing something new and exciting. He was right in there cutting all the leaves, climbing the banks to get away from those that may have been relieved on by dogs or affected by birds! We soon had a plentiful basket and off home we toddled.021

I invested in my first ever Kiln jar for this recipe, wild garlic pesto, hoping that a big jar of wonderfulness would sit in our fridge for a while. The recipe again was inspired by the magazine, but as I often do, I made small adjustments.

 Wild Garlic Pesto,

200g pine nuts
200g wild garlic
100g grated Parmesan
200ml extra virgin olive oil
Salt & Pepper for seasoning

  1. Dry roast the nuts until they brown slightly.
  2. Wash the garlic and remove long stems.
  3. Add garlic and nuts in food processor and pulse
  4. Add Parmesan and Olive Oil and pulse until a pesto like consistency, a rough paste.
  5. Season and pulse briefly.
  6. Transfer to a sterilised  jar and cover pesto with a glug of olive oil.
  7. Pop in the fridge and use in an assortment of ways.


You can mix with pasta or stir a blob in with your vegetables, serve with fish or add to a salad dressing or maybe try out these…


A Good Weekend?


The problems with weekends in our house, is they rarely turn out to be the two days you were expecting. Some sideways force will often come and knock us for six and leave us reeling for the remain hours of our two day break or on the flip side you will batten down the hatches for a whirlwind approaching and it never happens. Either way Sunday evenings Mr H and I  are often in shock over just how well it all went or just how utterly terrible it’s all been.

Stig and I had been planning this weekend for a while, a mummy and son day out. Our favourite place to go together has always been The Manchester Museum, but having been with school just recently we thought we’d be daring, change things and go to The Science and Industry Museum. There would also be a small amount of shopping for boys things and lunch at Wagamama’s. A real treat of a day for both but, unfortunately, we didn’t get to go.

Saturday morning Stig got caught doing something he knows very well he is not allowed to do. Sadly knowing that what he’d done was quite serious, and something he’s been in trouble for before, he decided to weave a web of whoppers to escape any possible trouble and then when this didn’t work he decided to become at first stubborn and rude closely followed by aggressive.

As is often the case, the original action was soon no longer the problem, Stig’s list of misdemeanours was growing, lying, rude language, and then lashing out. As the boy realised the mistakes he was making, his fear unfolded and he saw how much worse he’d made things, self loathing began to sink in and he turned the corner to “I don’t care”.

“I don’t care” is the slippery slope of self esteem sliding from under him and sending him tumbling in to the oblivion of his anger. Frustrated and angry with himself for not getting it right he starts to destroy.

He is removed to his bedroom as his anger starts to grow, physically moved but with plenty of warning and opportunity to take himself, relative containment is what we are after. This is when destruction begins; there is the sound of banging and smashing and I decide to  leave as missiles are launched at me. I take myself out of the situation but keep a close eye on it without making my presence known.

The boy empties the contents of his bedroom onto the landing. All his toys, books, his mattress and his drawer unit, which he has dismantled. Mummy and daddy step around it, stay back and avoid odd things being thrown but we do not restrain, intervene or respond to the abuse that’s being heckled. When he barricades his door with the mattress, I push it down and explain calmly that he must not do this “I need to see you are safe” I say, but I also then walk away. The mattress stays down.

As I pass to check another time he starts to head butt the wall, again I show little interest, listening for signs of real pain but I don’t lift my head, rush to stop or hold him back. It hurts more than he thought and a hole remains in the wall, his face starts to crumble.

Finally there are tears, tears and acquisitions of how we don’t love him and don’t care for him, how he hates us and wishes we were dead. I want to go to him now but he is still throwing things and as he’s hit me with something and launches a chair in my direction I again decide to  keep my distance. Time passes and eventually the cries change, the boy pleads hunger. “I’ve not had breakfast I’m hungry.”

I see this as an opportunity to move on; suggesting he dresses, then he can come and have something to eat. I leave him 10 minutes and return to find him calmer, dressed and waiting.

As we descend the stairs he says “I’m sorry” and I thank him for his apology. As we enter the kitchen he tentatively asks “Can I have a hug?” Of course he can have a hug and a long squeezing embrace is enjoyed.

“I feel much better now, thank you” he says.

I check his head and then we sit, him with a big bowl of cereal me with a mug of tea and we chat. Not about what’s happened, not about where we should be but the little things, the weather, the cats, the view from the window.

Once he’s eaten his breakfast I brace myself slightly and say “right now you need to go and put your bedroom back together” and that’s it, he goes.

One hour later the contents of his bedroom have been returned to their home and a neat pile of rubbish, including ripped up magazines and broken bites of toys is all that’s left on the landing. He smiles and so do I, he’s done well. We hug again.

Manchester is off the cards, some of the day is lost but the boy is shaky, so instead we visit the local shop for provisions and spend the afternoon playing games together. We have a lot of fun; it is warm and meaningful to both of us. There is laughter and giggles as we jostle to win a card game, there is respect and understanding as I teach him how to play Yahtzee and there is joy and delight as I allow him a sip of my diet Coke, a normally forbidden beverage.

So we move forward and on with relative ease and a huge lesson has been learnt, the learning curve  has reached a plateau for once. By removing ourselves from his anger and remaining at arm’s length from it. Ensuring his safety but also ensuring our own inner peace, we have remained strong and calm for him in the aftermath and by doing so we ensured that the road to recovery is quick and the damage is limited.

So as Mr H and I sat last night reflecting on our weekend, we were in agreement that this weekend had actually been a good weekend.


The Weekly Adoption Shout Out 17/05/13

That time of the week already – it’s the Weekly Adoption Shout Out!

Last week the theme was ‘the early days’ and we had some great posts on that. We also had lots of posts that weren’t related to the theme – so be sure to stop by here and have a read through them. Make sure you leave a comment and let them know you found them through the Weekly Adoption Shout Out or #WASO.

There is no theme this week, but next week we’ll be inviting you to link-up posts about ‘Treasured Moments’. In the meantime, please link-up any blog posts relating to adoption, whether you are an adoptee, a prospective adoptive parent, an adoptive parent or a professional.
Remember, all posts that are linked should be related to adoption in some way, but you don’t have to be involved in adoption to read the wonderful blogs that link-up – if you know someone who is considering adoption, or want to support a friend who is adopted, or understand more about what other parents go through, then have a read and share this page with your friends.

We try to read and share as many of the posts as we can throughout the week, you can help by sharing your favourites on Twitter , Facebook or your own website or blog. If you want to include a badge on your blog to show your support then here’s the code:

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