A Mini Melodrama

melodrama

THE MANIPULATOR

A short One Act Play about Moshi Monsters and one child’s insatiable desire to buy things.

THE CAST

TINK: 8 year old boy wearing a onesie

MUMMY: stunningly beautiful woman of 40 who looks more like she’s in here early 30’s. Although she is still in her dressing gown, her clean face and unkempt hair exaggerate her natural beauty.

Scene 1

SET: A family kitchen that gleams and sparkles with cleanliness, there are no piles of undealt with post, dirty pots or unput away cereal boxes. MUMMY busies herself. A Laptop is open on the kitchen table.

Enter TINK

TINK : Mummy can I look for a moshi on your computer?

MUMMY : Yes, but we are not buying anything today.

TINK sits himself at the table in front of the laptop and starts tapping away, MUMMY continues doing her chores.

TINK: Can I show you something mummy on your computer. This is Mini Ben, I really want him.

MUMMY : deep sigh, walks over to laptop and peers at screen  : That’s great but like I said we’re not buying anything today. Walks away again

TINK : Gasp of breath, hands up to mouth a look of devastation appears on his face : Mummy mummy, there are only two left in stock.

MUMMY: I’m sure they’ll be there another day.

TINK gets down from chair and comes over to MUMMY

TINK : speaks fast and waves hands around in front of his face : Mummy, I’ve still got two pound left from holidays and I think you still owe me a pound so I’ve got enough for him. It’s my money I can spend it when I want, you can’t stop me.

MUMMY Tries best to remain calm and continues with job : But you don’t have enough for the postage as well.

TINK : Can’t you pay for the postage?

MUMMY turns to face TINK : No. It’s daddy’s birthday next week and all my spare money is for daddy. Now I’m going to get dressed.

MUMMY turns to leave

TINK whining: But mummy.

MUMMY : No…  walking away

TINK shouting: But mummyyyyyy….

MUMMY stops and turns:  I’m going to get dressed, you coming out in the garden?

TINK turns away sulking and ignoring MUMMY

MUMMY leaves

Scene 2

SET :A pristine master bedroom, no piles of clothes to put away, no tea cups which need removing and no bed sheets that urgently require changing.

MUMMY now dressed is brushing her hair

TINK enters the room, throws himself dramatically on the bed making whinny sobbing noises.

TINK : Mummy I need it I really need it, I doooooooooo- more sobbing

MUMMY : No, Tink I’ve said no and I won’t change my mind.

TINK : angry voice – Why not it’s my money?

MUMMY : Mummy and daddy have decided that like Stig gets too excited playing computer games you get too giddy about shopping and buying things. You’ve had a lot over Christmas and had money to spend whilst we’ve been away now it’s time for a rest from it.

TINK : sobbing –mummy no, no ,no ,no.

TINK Flails around on the bed pretending to cry but is actually inspecting a scrap of paper he’s picked up.

TINK : It’s not fair, I need him, I really need him.

MUMMY : I understand that you are upset about this but the answer is no. Nothing awful will happen if you don’t have it right now.

TINK : It will, it will, I promised someone in school I would have it to swap, I can’t break my promise. You always tell me to keep promises.

MUMMY : No Tink, I’m going outside to help in the garden are you coming.

TINK : No, I’m not helping in the stupid garden, you’re being mean.

More pretend sobbing.

MUMMY leaves muttering

MUMMY : You’ll win an Oscar for that one day.

SCENE 3

SET: A beautiful manicured garden, no soggy piles of leaves left from autumn, no overgrown vegetable patch, no unkempt hedges and no pile of chairs and loungers stacked in a corner going rusty.

MUMMY is digging the vegetable patch

TINK yells from off stage

TINK : Mummy, come here mummy.

MUMMY : No Tink if you want to see me put some shoes on and come outside.

TINK appears in his onesie and his wellys.

TINK : Mummy, I’ve solved the problem.

TINK produces a dishevelled gift bag from behind his back. Dips his hand inside and brings out a squished stuffed heart that he made and has been keeping under his bed with a lot of toys and other  c**p for  at least six months.

TINK : See I found this present that we can give daddy for his birthday. Now you don’t need all your money for daddy’s present you can pay the postage on Mini Ben.

MUMMY :  suppressing laughter : That’s very kind of you to give that lovely heart you made too Daddy but the answer is still no.

TINK : I don’t see why, you can afford it, I know you can, you are just being mean, I hate this house and this family,

MUMMY turns to continue digging.

Tink : screams – AAGGRRHHHH – turns and stamps off.

 

Some minutes pass.  MUMMY continues digging.

TINK reappears clutching a tin box with moshi monsters spilling over the top. He has a sad face and seems to be fighting back the tears.

TINK: Mummy has the plastic bin been collected yet?

MUMMY : What?

TINK : The rubbish bin, I’m going to put my moshis in it. – More sobbing

TINK : I’ve let them down, I promised my moshis I would get Mini Ben, I’ve let them down too many times. I can’t keep letting them down. I think it’s best if they go.

MUMMY : You can’t put those in the plastic bin. I really think you should wait before you throw them away. You’ve got so many it would be a shame. This is not going to change my mind and you would lose them all. Anyway those Moshis love you and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Come on take them in, we are going to have lunch soon.

MUMMY continues digging

TINK: But mummy……

TINK  stands for a moment starring at MUMMY, sighs and leaves with the Moshis.

MUMMY finishes her digging and starts to tidy away.

TINK reappears

TINK : Mummy I think I can get Mini Ben from a swap in school. I totally forgot. I’ve decided I don’t need to buy him because I remembered I don’t need him.

MUMMY : puts arm around  TINK : That’s great. Let’s go and have some lunch.

TINK and MUMMY  leave.

Linked To Actually Mummy…..

Wot So Funee?

32 Comments

  1. Sarah January 16, 2013 / 8:23 pm

    Oh my goodness! I feel your pain. My younger son can get like this about buying things too – especially collectible stuff. Glad he calmed down and sorted himself out in the end. Also, glad you have such a pristine house and garden. I am in awe 😉

    • thepuffindiaries January 16, 2013 / 8:29 pm

      Yes there is always something he needs and yes I am domestic perfection. x

  2. Victoria Welton January 16, 2013 / 8:52 pm

    This has to be one of the best things I have ever read – EVER! I love it! :) x

    • thepuffindiaries January 16, 2013 / 9:02 pm

      Thank you, that is a lot of praise, I think I can handle it.

  3. Considerer January 16, 2013 / 9:56 pm

    Certainly a ‘Best Supporting Role’ in the offing there. Your house, sorry, set, descriptions were *awesome*

    • thepuffindiaries January 16, 2013 / 9:59 pm

      I only described exactly what I can see..gritty reality this piece. Honest.

  4. Mummy Plum January 16, 2013 / 10:20 pm

    This was a wonderful read. I smiled from beginning to end. Fab post. :0)

  5. Stix January 17, 2013 / 10:13 am

    Brilliant. Sounds so familiar too x

    • thepuffindiaries January 17, 2013 / 11:09 am

      I think this can be pretty universal, adoption or not. Although Tink’s desire to own things I think is deeply rooted in his insecurities. Thank you. x

  6. Not My Year Off January 17, 2013 / 1:38 pm

    Ahhh glad he was ok in the end. My niece is going through this phase at the moment.

    • thepuffindiaries January 17, 2013 / 4:34 pm

      Yes thanks he is well and truly recovered and moving on to the next must have item. x

  7. Actually Mummy... January 17, 2013 / 5:11 pm

    Oh thank God! I thought it was just me!
    Thanks for linking up :)

  8. Older Mum (@Older_Mum) January 17, 2013 / 8:04 pm

    That was lovely …. and you did so well holding the boundary under such duress! Children always seem to NEED everything – it’s such a bitter pill but a necessary lesson that they can’t have everything! Fab post! X.

    • thepuffindiaries January 17, 2013 / 8:07 pm

      Thanks, when I pick my battle the force is strong. Mind you the shopping force is strong in the boy too. x

  9. Sarah January 17, 2013 / 8:37 pm

    Sound’s just like our house – except for the domestic goddess bit that is!

  10. Mammasaurus January 17, 2013 / 10:38 pm

    Oh bless- fortunately Scamp isn’t ‘into’ anything yet – although she did say that she wanted a Moshi Monsters birthday cake… is this the beginning of the end?

    • thepuffindiaries January 18, 2013 / 8:18 am

      So you too have a spotless home and garden, good for you, so few of us are able to maintain these high standards…

  11. bavariansojourn January 19, 2013 / 9:08 am

    He deserves an Oscar for his persistance, and you one for your patience! It never ceases to amaze me how tiny bits of plastic can be of the utmost importance to a Small Person. We currently have a crisis in this house as Lego Luke SkyWalker has lost his hair! 😀

    • thepuffindiaries January 19, 2013 / 10:35 am

      The other son is Lego crazy but doesn’t create the same level of drama as the little one. There is always a drama about something where he’s concerned, this could become a regular spot. x

    • thepuffindiaries January 19, 2013 / 2:54 pm

      If you didn’t laugh at these things I think there would be a lot of tears.

  12. Louise January 19, 2013 / 7:41 pm

    We have had some similar converstaions!

  13. HappyMum January 21, 2013 / 8:56 am

    Ha ha! Brilliant. I used to say “But Daddy/Mummy I need it, I reeeeaaally neeeeeeeeeeed it!” for whatever piece of plastic rubbish I was desperate for. I used to hear back all variations of no: “not today”, “maybe” and the dreaded “we’ll see”. Glad you stuck to your guns, I’ve got all this to come! x

    • thepuffindiaries January 21, 2013 / 10:20 am

      I think we all did and now our children are teaching us a lesson. Thanks for reading. x

  14. Adoption Journey Blog February 10, 2014 / 9:58 am

    Fantastic! What a brilliant post. We’ve got a little while before this starts in earnest (although on Saturday our little fella did, for the first time disappear round the corner in Smiths only to reappear with a packet of Cadbury’s Giant Buttons, big puppy dog eyes and a “Pleeeeeeeeeze”). Gulp!

    Missed this the first time round so, from this post alone the new Adoption Social linky has proved its worth already!

  15. Suddenly Mummy February 10, 2014 / 4:09 pm

    Brilliant!! So dreading the ‘collecting things’ stage!

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