I’m 40 soon, very soon, less than two weeks away. I’m not upset about turning forty, in fact I’m almost looking forward to it. I’ve a party organised, a get together in a local wine bar with a meal for family and besties (close friend) followed by drinks and hopefully dancing with an increasing crowd. Then there’s the night away in the Boutique hotel with my husband, wine, fine dining and us time. Not forgetting the all important gifts, a beautiful new digital camera and I’m sure a few other bits. So what’s not to look forward to? However this is not the main reason I’m “almost” looking forward to this event. I’ve decided the day after my fortieth birthday I’m going to give up alcohol for a year.
I can remember the moment my relationship with alcohol changed .From my late teens I enjoyed a tipple, growing up in a “sociable” household where having a drink meant fun and enjoyment, my parents were not and are not alcoholics but having a few was never frowned upon. I adopted this same sort of sociable attitude towards drink, and drink I did, with family with friends and then with my husband. We would spend hours in our local pub especially at the weekend and stumble home to bed; this was obviously way before parenthood. And then it happened, parenthood, and not in the conventional way but after a couple of tough years, adoption. So there I am sat in our kitchen of the time, finally having got our two new little boys to bed after a first few tough days together, I reached for a bottle of wine from the rack, pop went the cork, and relief oozed through me with that first gulp.
And there you have it, a change and that glass of wine became my reward, my relief, on bad days my oasis, sometimes my friend. That friend has been helping through my children’s very challenging behaviour, my husband losing his business resulting in him having a nervous breakdown, battling my own depression which I’ve lived with since my early 20’s and did I mention the children’s challenging behaviour. The boys have been with us 6 years soon and please I’m not a wine soaked mess from dawn till dusk, 6 days since my last, but the problem I now have is stopping once I’ve started.
So in order to confront my relationship with alcohol and to kick these nasty habits I’ve acquired, I’m giving it up; 12 months at least, dry as a bone, on the wagon. Surprisingly I am at the moment very much looking forward to this challenge. I know that at times it won’t be easy as I don’t intend to lock myself away for the year, but by removing the option of partaking I am hoping for increased consistency and calm in my life. I’m hoping the delights of this challenge will reveal themselves along the way, I have my own hopes which I shall keep to myself for now, but I shall let you know all, the ups the downs the ins the outs the hates and loves…just don’t mention the puffin.