The Beginning – A Treasured Moment

022As I rack my brain for treasured moments, each memory that pops into my head jostles with the next to be the best. Could it be the “I love you mummy” time, or the first squeezy cuddles times? I especially like the one when the growth specialist Tink was under when he came to us, told us all the love we had given him had made him grow and he was a year later, no longer considered at risk of being abnormally small. For Stig the times are often around the progressive steps, the realisation that a hug when you are sad can make it all better, the meaningful “sorry” and the delight at new experiences. There really are so many but I have managed to pick just one treasured moment to share , the moment it all began for us with the boys.

Mr H and I sat there side by side, our hands interlocked, the grip firm and tight. The shallowness of my breath and tension through my body was not portraying the relaxed confident woman I so wanted to appear. My husband’s leg jiggled up and down and as I always do when his nerves betray him in this way, I leant forward, hopefully inconspicuously, and gently squeezed his knee. Calmly messaging “for god sake hold it together”.

On the sofa opposite us two ladies surrounded by papers and a single photo of two little boys, sat sipping tea and smiling nicely. One we knew well and had shared our most intimate secrets with in the last few months, the other a stranger. The stranger, she held the key that could open the door to the rest of our lives.

We’d talked and talked, answered questions even asked a few ourselves but the meeting was drawing to an end and I could feel the panic setting in. Internally my mind raced “What else could we do to make her give us that key?” Outwardly I forced a wider more ridiculous smile across my face.

Then my brave husband took the plunge “So when do you think you can tell us if we’ve been selected for the boys?”

The stranger smiled, her eyes set on him. “Well as far as I’m concerned it’s a match, they are yours if you would like them”

Exhale, gulp, and reach for air as the salty streams fell. Immediately we fall together, arms entwined sobbing on each other’s shoulders. “Thank you, thank you, thank you” “Thank you, thank you, and thank you”

She handed us the photo of the two little boys, “you can keep this” she said.

We thanked her more as she left and then thanked our social worker as she left.

We stuck the picture on the fridge door and stood and stared at the two wide eyed little urchins before us, our little urchins, our boys Stig and Tink.

To read more Treasured Moments from Adoption Bloggers see The Weekly Adoption Shout Out

13 Comments

  1. Vicki May 24, 2013 / 1:33 pm

    Beautifully written as always Sarah and a lovely photo of the boys too.
    It’s made me think back to our own ‘yes’ moment too, and suddenly the screen has gone a little blurry! xx

    Thanks for linking up to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out too x

  2. older mum in a muddle May 24, 2013 / 6:20 pm

    What a beautiful post. My heart leapt when you finally got your answer. I can’t even begin to imagine the nerves you must have been feeling. X.

  3. claire May 24, 2013 / 8:57 pm

    What a beautiful memory to savor :)

    • thepuffindiaries May 25, 2013 / 11:05 am

      Thank you.Good to recall just how much we wanted this sometimes. xx

  4. Andrew May 24, 2013 / 10:10 pm

    Great stuff Sarah, setting the bar as always! I love the photo – I think it speaks volumes.

    • thepuffindiaries May 25, 2013 / 11:04 am

      Thank you. They look like they are strangling each other which is most likely.

  5. Sally May 25, 2013 / 11:30 am

    Made me think of our moment too. Really beautifully written.

  6. Emma May 25, 2013 / 7:38 pm

    Powerful stuff, and a really lovely photo… :)

  7. Suddenly Mummy May 25, 2013 / 10:04 pm

    I didn’t have this exact experience in my journey, so it’s great to read such a powerful account of it. As always, I love the insight you and others involved in #WASO give into the adopter’s experience – so helpful to me as a foster carer as well as an adopter :)

  8. new pyjama mummy May 25, 2013 / 10:06 pm

    love the photo and the story of getting the match yes – I remember well the initial meeting with the social worker and family finder very well too – and how lovely the professional said about the amazing growth after a year! fantastic x

  9. Lindsay May 26, 2013 / 5:13 am

    Ahhh! You are bringing it all back! The phone call to say we were a match, the meeting with our social workers to learn about J and saying yes, opening the door and seeing him there and being called mommy….I have very detailed memories of these 3 specific events and for me too now the screen is a bit blurry. Thank you for reminding me what fantastic moments those were. (I too had his picture on the fridge, for a week before we met, I was sure my eyes were going to burn a hole right though I stared at it so much!)

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