The Golden Child

golden childHe didn’t want to go again this morning. He didn’t want to get out of bed, or get dressed, or come downstairs. He just didn’t want to do it today. His chin dropped low, his brow furrowed and he looked up at me from beneath his beautiful long lashes. Those brilliant blue eyes, like deep pools of salty tears, pleaded with me not to send him.

After a little coercing and tiny bit of deal making,  I pulled the front door behind us both. Instead of propelling forward, towards the car, he sunk down and sat on the doorstep.

“Please” he said, “I don’t want to today.”

Some gentle persuasion and a couple of promises later we got to the car, we got in the car and we drove to school. There was no conversation. I racked my weary brain to find that elusive nugget of conversation which would stop him thinking about how much he didn’t want to go.

We parked, got out of the car and walked to the gate. He hid behind the wall instead of going through the gate. His teaching assistant happened to be there, on hand.

“Are you coming in?”

“NO”

Through gentle guidance and some bribery we arrived in the main reception of the school.

Those eyes now glistened, as the pools threatened to overflow.

“Probably best if you go now “I was advised.

“Bet I’ll be back again soon” I thought, as I reluctantly turned away.

Twenty past three and I was late for school pick up. I was running, sort of, when I noticed the text on my phone from school.

“Your son has achieved a gold award today”

As I rounded the corner he was there waiting, beaming from ear to ear. He clapped his hands together and bounced up and down, as I was informed of his achievements. He’d been invited back into the school reward scheme, previously too hard for him to deal with.  Traffic lights and golden awards, certificates and special treats. He can opt out again if it’s all too much.

I am a VERY PROUD mum and more importantly he is super, amazingly impressed with himself.

“I turned it around” he thrills, those eyes now gleaming with joy.

I’m sure many of you will realise that there is a hesitation, a cause to be cautious, a moment of let’s just wait and see, as I suppress the thought “this could all go horribly wrong”.

But for now he is basking in the glow of just how golden he is and I must admit I can feel the warmth too. I’m also quietly crossing everything, saying a little prayer, preparing to sell something, anything, in hope of a gold rush.

7 Comments

  1. plumstickle April 29, 2015 / 11:01 pm

    Hoorah! What a beautiful, cheering post. x

  2. Mama Bear April 30, 2015 / 12:06 am

    Yay! Congratulations (to all of you)!

  3. Helen Bonnick April 30, 2015 / 8:56 am

    What a lovely end to the day for you both. One to treasure!

  4. Honeymummy April 30, 2015 / 9:20 am

    Wow what a wonderful achievement. Congratulations xxxx

  5. sally May 1, 2015 / 9:07 am

    Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I bet you feel so proud of him.

    Oh how I related to this. Particularly this morning. My beautiful but downcast 15 year old so didn’t want to go today. He told me all the reasons why. I felt for him. I wouldn’t want to go if I was him. He raged at me. “You don’t care anyway”. “It’s not fair”. And still I made him go, saying “I know it’s horrible but hiding away from it isn’t going to make it go away, it will all be there again next week”.

    I want to pick him up and hug him and protect him. But he is 15 and he is doing a GCSE this month and lots more next year. Life is tough. I have a new mantra these days. Life is tough but you are worth loving.

    I told him it’s because I care. He doesn’t understand. Why would I make him suffer something so miserable. We had tears and then he shared something with me that is going on at school that he hasn’t revealed before. He gave me a long hug and dragged his bag up to his shoulder and slouched his shoulders getting ready for the door. As he slumped into the car I felt so powerless and so guilty.

    I wish I could solve all his ills and hurts but I know I can’t. I loved your post and I hope my beautiful boy has a better day than he expects too. However, even if he doesn’t have a good day we shared something special even after an awful start to the day. Maybe we have both learned something. I hope so.

  6. Anne May 1, 2015 / 12:52 pm

    I heard a saying once that was, if you don’t take risks then you don’t have the opportunity for new experiences. I have to block out the pain that one of my children experiences at school everyday else I would’t let him go. I feel cold and heartless but I can’t afford to absorb his pain, he has to learn to face the bad times. I hope he knows we do it because we love him.

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